you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize