So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
