she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
