now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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