pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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