I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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