its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This couple is walking their pig around campus
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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