FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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