My sheets look like a crime scene.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
