You smell like a Billy Joel song
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
