I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
