My Higher Power is John Stamos
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
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Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.