I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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