I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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