My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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