where does the pee come out of this thing
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
