Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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