how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
