he thought i was a dude.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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