Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
