Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
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It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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