Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
