It's like God shit irony all over that family
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
