very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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