I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
