you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's shark week go big or go home
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
