party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
