Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
