Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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