So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He better not be in your backpack
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
