K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
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He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Congratulations! We have a period
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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