Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
