She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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