Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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