Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Couch. On fire.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
