I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
