I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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