He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
