I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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