So drunk its hurt
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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