We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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