woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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