i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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