My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
