Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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