so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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