is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
