Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize