i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize