I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize