it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
