your room smells of hookers.
And success
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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