We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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