The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
