i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
